Jan 02
Disorderly conduct…
I’m a little bit bombarded. There seems too much going on at once and although in the workplace I’m a thoroughly organised person, the rest of my life has always been chaotic. Maybe I should start reading Zen Habits. I need the same common sense advice pounded into my brain over and over again.
- In the kitchen, every single dish I own is piled up around the sink and covering the benches. (Muy hygenic!)
- In my bedroom, every single piece of clothing I haven’t packed away yet is strewn across the floor. (This doesn’t even make sense because most of them remain a little snug since having Caspar.)
- On my computer desktop, there are more files than can actually fit on the screen.(I have since dumped them randomly into yet another to-be-sorted folder.)
- I have a list of to-dos about a mile long. (Or I think it is. One of those to-dos is to actually write a to-do list.)
And even here there are a few things not functioning the way they should. It’s not an entirely peaceful place to write.
Add to that the boxes all around the house that keep getting reopened and repacked and the pile of papers which, if they could be stacked, would be as tall as me. (What’s that you say? Matches?)
I’m a bit of a shocker at throwing things away. Having worked as an archivist, I like to archive things. And that would be fine, if what once were systems hadn’t gone to hell in a handbasket and I was the archivist in life that I am when something actually restrains me and makes me do things. (Like a paycheck.) There is something to be said for working for The Man.
I need a good, hard talking to. I always have. I’m sure my mother gave one to me time and time again as I was growing up. It’s a wonder she’s not now a shadow of herself, pale, and defeated by her inability to make me register the sense of what she was saying.
My skull is thick. The power of my deafness is awe-inspiring. Nothing has changed since I was a child even though, in primary school, my Opa sent me “A Round Tuit”.
I still never get around to it.
Discipline. I need discipline. It would be nice if I could blame the lack of it in me on my mother but I’m afraid I know very well where the blame lies. I am easily distracted. I have grand ideas but my impetus stops at the idea as though someone else would be there to implement it. I move on to the next one too soon and hence…
My ducks do not swim in a row.
There is too much to understand, too many things to do, too much I want to give, too much time that I want to take.
“Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world…” W.B. Yeats
Leaving aside the objectional usage of the word anarchy in that poem, I’m sure there is a reason these lines came into my head right now. Because I am standing amidst the ruins. Because I am not centred. I rebel at the notion that I need to be but, in truth, I need to be.
I need to be dogged, to sustain my efforts, to take on only what I can manage. And then manage it. There are no good fairies to complete my works; I am not Psyche and there are no ants to sort through all the grains of my life.
I need to change this.
January 2nd, 2008 at 11:38 pm
I’m not surprised to hear this. I have just managed to get onto Aussie Bloggers Forum and bang, four hours, kissed away.
I don’t know how you all manage it and I have no children at home!
January 2nd, 2008 at 11:54 pm
It probably helps having a child who is more organised than a drill sergeant. Although he was a little naughty today.
He very responsibly brought me the box of chocolates from the cupboard so I took out a handful and he took just one like I’ve taught him and then I asked him to put them away. (This might seem like a weird thing to ask a 14 mth old but seriously, he’s a changeling!)
Today, however, he did what a normal child would do and went back to the kitchen and ate them all while I wasn’t looking.
The forums are taking a lot of time but it will settle down, I think. And it has certainly been good timing for me because the new blog already has some subscribers and is getting quite a few hits a day. Now, I just have to gather my courage and set the launch date. Do you think the launch date should be “when the dishes are done”?
January 3rd, 2008 at 12:07 am
When the dishes are done is as good a time as any. Good Feng Shui too!
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:03 am
This quote came to me when I was reading today .. it’s anonymous but it has been working for me to keep the understanding of what I am doing and not be concerned so much with discipline as the world defines it.
“Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most.”
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:51 am
Ooh, nice quote Ria!
Dear cm, you sound SO like me! I have learnt a few tips over the years, from various sources, which help a bit - though of course I actually have to do them for them to work, lol, and that doesn’t always happen.
# Only 3 crucial things on To Do list every day. (You can do more, and probably will, but those are the only “have to” items.)
# I like the FlyLady slogan: “You can do anything for 15 mninutes” (note this does not mean IN 15 minutes; it means that after 15 mins you stop and do something else). Yes, I set a timer!
# Even better I like her other slogan: “Housework imperfectly done still blesses your family” (i.e. anti-perfectionism!).
Caspar eating all the chocolates after all, when you weren’t looking, raised a laugh. Hope he didn’t suffer too much discomfort afterwards!
Now I am off to exert a bit of self-discipline and get out in the back yard to do my morning witchy ritual aka breathing exercises. Makes me feel clear and grounded, so I have been doing it faithfully for … oh … maybe 5 days this time, after a gap of - er - a few years. Getting caught on computer first tends to happen, but can be interrupted! (I have no children at home either, Joh, but know just what you mean about the hours disappearing.)
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:12 am
That is a fantastic quote, Ria! And good ideas from you too, Rosemary. I used to work near the beach and I began to force myself to take a lunch break and just go and sit and sort of meditate for a little while. It definitely made a difference in my attitude. The only problem was that in the end it made such a difference that I realised how pointless the work was and how restricted it made me feel that I chucked the whole job in!
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:29 am
I HATE to throw stuff away and I am hopeless at archiving and storing (that’s why I married an accountant, right???). I drive Paul crazy with my organised clutter and seemingly mayhem (I always know where to locate what I need thought). We reached a compromise. Every Christmas break we get a skip in and do a cull. WE send stuff we can recycle to the local women’s shelter to help women set up their new homes and I become a throw out rubbish demon - for the rest of the year I just collect anything and everything.
As for the chocolates….I’m on Caspar’s side. I never was very disciplined with delaying gratification.
The overwhelmness will subside and the house will become regular again. Mxx
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Usually the hardest things for me to find are the things I put away.
I actually sent off 12 big black garbage bags of clothes to the Salvos recently and I still have more than I know what to do with. It’s ridiculous. And I don’t even consider myself a materialistic person. It’s the papers that really get to me though. All of it seems so valuable, but papers are one thing that really do need to be stored well to find what you want.
A skip might be in order.
January 8th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
[…] not nothing of course, but nothing important. It’s been another day of speeding through distractions while responsibilities which need more immediate attention are ignored. Perhaps I need to stop […]
January 24th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
I stumbled on this and really liked it. thanks