I bought Caspar a puppet today, three dollars in the chuck-out bin at our little supermarket. It is just a little hand puppet – a monkey – with soft tan fur and two pink felt flowers sewn on. Caspar decided it was a girl and named her Silly. Silly Monkey.
I have wonderful conversations with Caspar, and we often have pretend conversations with each other when we play with his toys, but it is so interesting seeing how he interacts with her in a completely different way.
I love the complete suspension of disbelief, how his gaze never drifts from her while I speak. He laughs when “she” claps her hands or scratches her head as though she is thinking. He speaks to her like a best friend, so it is almost like a little voyeuristic insight into the workings of his mind.
He is still rather shy sometimes with the other children in our lives, and most we either don’t see often enough or they are not at similar enough stages of development for him to really have that comfortable camaraderie. With new children he often stands waiting for the other child to talk to him and you can see him just… wanting. But not knowing yet how to start.
And the problem is especially obvious with familiar children who have different personalities, whose interactions are more highly dependent on activity, who like to constantly be doing and for whom companionship is simply having someone else doing too. Caspar likes that as well of course, but he tires of it sooner and longs for more conversation. There is a rich imagination in there, and a strong social desire, which hasn’t yet found its peers.
He will love kinder next year, and will love school. (Hell, he’s been asking when he can start school since he turned two.) It still might take him some time to find his “friends” – it took me a long time – but for the moment, Silly Monkey and I will try to help fill in the gaps and I can enjoy seeing him express that side of himself which hasn’t yet found its space.
I feel a little bad sometimes that I can’t provide this for him now but even with lots of activities, a like-mind for him is not something I can pull out of thin air.
He’s such a joyous, happy, thought-filled boy. I’m looking forward to him having someone to share that with.
Once he starts Kinder he’ll find his feet with other kids and there’ll be no looking back
Yup. And I just found out I might be entitled to 10 hours per week of 3yo Kinder for free. Which really annoys me as I made many, many enquiries and no one told me that. I’m going to see if I can get him a free place for the rest of this year.
I am sitting here smiling reading this. He sounds so very much like my Too.
There were bumpy times till she found her core group but they are amazing kids that can just sit and talk for hours about anything and everything.