Mar 24 2008

Things will be patchy…

Tag: Saffron noodles — cerebralmum @ 8:50 am

I’ve been unwell. Well, not unwell, but in pain. I have an ovarian cyst that has been haemorrhaging which is just not pleasant. I even missed a day at university on Tuesday. I went to my Thursday classes but I was in tears by the time I got home.

I got my first ovarian cyst when I was 14 and by the time I got a diagnosis and treatment I had two, one in each ovary; a grapefruit and a golf ball, both extraordinarily painful while menstruating. Luckily, they cleared up with medication. My sister, who gets them as well, had to have her first one surgically removed.

The cyst isn’t a big drama but the treatment is The Pill. At 14, years and years before I was sexually active, I was put on Microgynon 50ED, a “high dose” oral contraceptive and I was told I had to stay on it for the rest of my fertile life. I prefer to let my body take care of itself. I can always tell when I have a cyst because the pain is quite distinct from normal menstrual pain but I only get a really bad one every 2 or 3 years. I have a rule that if the cyst hasn’t flushed itself away through 3 cycles, then I will resort to medical intervention. But 3 cycles is the most they ever last.

I don’t like being on The Pill and decided even before I became sexually active that I would use it for contraception when in a relationship only. I had side effects at a young age due to the dosage, the least of which was significant weight gain at the time when a young girl’s body image is probably at its most fragile. And if I had stayed on it as instructed, by now I would have taken about 7,500 tablets. By the time I reached menopause, if I had continued as instructed, I would have taken over 13,000. I find that idea untenable. While I love and respect science, that level of screwing around with the body’s natural functions should be avoided unless absolutely necessary, in my opinion.

But anyway, that’s where I have been. In bed and in pain. My computer was switched off while I laid curled up in a ball watching Smallville. I’m still not 100% but at least I don’t feel like I’m in labour anymore.

However, my usual posting schedule is not about to resume because, basically, the shit has hit the fan next door, where Big Sis’ boyfriend lives. The upshot is that he needs to move out, and soon. With me and Cas living here in big Sis’ place, there isn’t room for him (he has 3 children on the weekends) so we’re trying to orchestrate a somewhat dramatic shuffle to make sure we all have a bed somewhere.

It looks like he’ll move into my derelict house, temporarily at least, which is probably a good thing for me because the help I’ve needed will be given more urgent attention but there are a lot of logistics to sort out in the coming weeks so postings will (continue to) be a little sketchy.

In other news, my first assignment is due tomorrow and I haven’t started it yet. It’s only 500 words so it shouldn’t be a drama, but with all the financial, residential and health issues rearing their heads right now, well… You get the picture.

Love and kisses to all. And apologies for my inattention of late. That will continue for a little while longer.

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Feb 13 2008

An Apology a Long Time Coming: Australia Says Sorry.

Tag: Iced VoVos — cerebralmum @ 9:27 pm

Magneto Bold Too summed up today - the day that Australian PM, Kevin Rudd, made a parliamentary apology to the Stolen Generations - very well…

“About fucking time.”

For my overseas readers, the Stolen Generations are those indigenous children the “white” Australians literally tore from the arms of their parents over decades, never to be returned. They were clothed, and fed, and “educated”. And stripped of their family, their heritage, their language and their culture. For their own protection. The fact that at least 17% of the girls and 8% of the boys experienced sex crimes while in the care of the government and the churches and “charitable” white families gives us a very clear picture of the quality of that “protection”.

Of course, it wasn’t just the children who were stolen, and had something stolen from them: Entire peoples were victims of this abuse.

Yes. I’m comfortable calling it what it was: Racist abuse.

I’m not interested in the arguments made about “good intentions”. (Brendan Nelson: You made a grave error of judgement.) The nature of those intentions are evident in the acts and the results of those acts, whether they were committed in ignorance or not. For some things, ignorance is not an excuse. And it cannot be claimed as one on a scale such as this.

I cannot tell their stories for them. I do not have the right and they have been doing that for themselves for a long time now, most of it without being heard. Most of it while being ignored or subjected to attacks from those unwilling to accept the faults of the past, adding more and more failures of humanity to our history.

Today, Kevin Rudd called it a “stain upon our souls”.

I don’t know what a soul is supposed to be, but I feel it as a stain, even though I was not born here, even though I was born after these crimes “officially” ended. I have felt ashamed of our history since I learned of it. I have felt ashamed that it is something I learned only as an adult. And while John Howard was in power, I am proud to say that I was ashamed to be an Australian.

I’m not very old but while I was being educated in Australian schools, Australian history consisted of the First Fleet and bushrangers and Federation and diggers. These dark facts were not given to me until I went to university and I was very aware that meant many others who went on to study in other fields were never told the truth by those who had a responsibility to do so.

As a child and a teenager, I had a strong social conscience. I carried around a tattered copy of “I have a dream…”; I had anti-apartheid posters on my walls. And all that time, I never knew what had happened in my own backyard, not just during the period of the Stolen Generations, but since settlement.

When I learned of it, I was appalled, and furious at the education system which had failed me. I can only hope that the curriculum has improved since then. I do not want my son raised in the same self-satisfied and blinded atmosphere I was. A past so heinous needs to be addressed, if not by those who created it, then by those who are its inheritors.

theage

So this was me in the 90s, wearing my reconciliation armband; the armband which sold out within a day of appearing on the shelves at The Body Shop because I was not alone in my sentiments. Below me was Nicole Kidman, a “glamorous activist” fighting for the same thing I was. I marched for Land Rights, for The Wik Decision, for the Amendment to the Native Title Act. I read and I watched and I argued and I cried.

In the scheme of things, did that mean anything?

I look at it now and see a white girl who came to this country and was granted all the rights of a citizen without question. I look at it and see a white girl who will never be able comprehend the enormity of the pain that was caused to the people she wanted to stand up for. I look at it now and see a pretty white girl in the newspaper when faces other than hers should have been seen, when voices other than hers should have been heard.

But I cried today when that symbolic act took place. I cried to hear, finally, an official apology which was unequivocal and made no excuses. I cried to see someone stand up and speak the truth on behalf of all of us who have wanted it spoken for so long. Not because it expatiates our history’s wrongs, not because it absolves us of our guilt, but simply because, as Cathy Freeman said, “It is the right thing to do.”

I’m very sure that for some members of the Stolen Generations, and some of those effected by the policies of successive Australian governments and the behaviour of generations of white settlers, the words spoken today will mean little. And that’s fine. Victims of abuse are not required to forgive and forget. For others, they might find a little peace in finally hearing words of acknowledgement which have been so long in coming and I am glad of that.

But the shame of our county’s past, and the stain upon my “soul”, will not be washed away until our indigenous children stop dying, until our indigenous people live long and full lives, until our indigenous people have the same access to the healthcare and education and services we enjoy and they are free to make their own choices about using them, not just in law but in fact.

This apology which is so long overdue… It’s a beginning.

What Others Are Saying…

Anyone who I have missed, please leave a link to your post about the apology in the comments of send it to me via my contact form and I will add it to the list.

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Dec 05 2007

The little things…

Tag: Administrivia — cerebralmum @ 9:24 pm

Just some adminstrivia…

Blogroll Now Imported

I have finally imported the blogroll from my old domain so the Read page is useful again. There are a couple of changes to the categories so unless the blog has a specific focus, everyone is listed as a Cerebral Type but I’ve divided them into boys and girls so they don’t get too bulky.

I’ve put a poll up on the page so I can make it as functional as possible. Help me out by answering my question.

I’ve also added a few new blogs today. They are…

Ranking & Social Networking

Not that any of it matters, but I just like to figure out how things work and things like SEO and social bookmarking aren’t (weren’t?) things I understood very well. I had all but given up on them, finding them spammy and ineffective as I’ve already said. Then somebody Stumbled me and suddenly I had visitors in the 300s instead of the 30s. It’s dropped back down again now, but it I discovered that I actually like Stumbling and have added the toolbar to Firefox.

I will be making sure I’ve Stumbled and Technorati fave’d all my favourite blogs over the next few days.

I also now have an Alexa Rank for the first time. It’s 888,749 and my site is reaching 0.00045% of the global web-surfing community. Very impressive! My Alexa Rank for Australia is 5,703, which I think is pretty cool and Technorati is slowly shrinking back to what it was before the move.

Thank You

I have two things to thank Megan at Imaginif for. The first is because she was the person who stumbled me and made my stats leap like a gazelle. The second is not only for her, but for all of the Imaginif team, because they gave away a prize of $250 recently and I was the winner! And Megan was so happy for me that I just want to hug her.

(Incidentally, the prize was drawn from a pool of people who participated in their Safety Talk Forum and they are running another competition this month.)

Also, thank you to Snoskred who has invited me to Get Out Of My Niche. I’ll be writing my very first guest post this week.

Apologies

There are a couple of things that I still haven’t got around to fixing since the move, primarily the display of tags and related posts etc, so I’m offering a quick apology because the navigation here isn’t quite what it used to be and things are a little messy. I could list dozens of things that need tweaking but it’s probable that no-one cares about it as much as me, so I’ll leave it at that.

I’m also struggling to stay on top of comments at the moment so I apologise if I haven’t responded to anyone who has left me a message, and also to those who have blogs that I usually comment on more. I’ll sort it out.

I feel like I’ve missed a million things I meant to mention, but this will do for now.

Don’t forget to go and vote on my poll!

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Sep 13 2007

Arduous and exhausting…

Tag: Saffron noodles — cerebralmum @ 1:47 am

I am now 4 poems behind in the 30 Poems project but I have had a couple of long days. On Monday night I went to bed at my usual time; around 2am. At 3am I was woken up because someone needed my help. I crawled back into bed around 7am for half an hour’s sleep before my usual morning routine and then got Cas and myself prepared for a visit to the ER.

I know I said recently that I like waiting rooms but the ER is an entirely different kettle of fish. It is always an awful environment, with the misery and frustration vibrating through the room even more unpleasant than the florescent lights.

We arrived at 11:30am, spent 5 hours in the waiting room, waited another hour and a half in the ER for a bed before waiting 2 hours for blood results which needed to be retested as there was a lab error. At 8pm someone else took over my hand-holding role so that I could get Cas back home to bed.

Today there was an ultrasound appointment at 3:30pm before returning to the ER to get a clinical decision. That involved 6 hours in the waiting room, more time waiting for the doctor and more time waiting for the specialist before we finally arrived home at 12:30am.

If I wasn’t so drained, there are many things I could write now: Sketches of the other people waiting (some sympathetic and some angry), appreciation for the staff (each and every one was wonderful), descriptions of the drama within the ER (the teenage car accident victims, and, yes, the guy that pulled a knife) but I just don’t have it in me.

Healthwise, my friend is fine. There are just some… er… let’s say, women’s issues that have to be dealt with but there is no danger and no long term worries. We have tomorrow off before it’s back to the hospital on Friday for more waiting, and then a procedure, and then it’s done.

But this post is just to say I’ll be keeping you waiting a little bit longer. Hopefully I’ll get some of my catch-up done tomorrow but if I can, I’ll be trying to catch up on some sleep too. My usual services will resume Saturday.

You might have noticed that I used various forms of the word wait several times in this post. That should give you a fair idea of how the last two days have been without me serving it up with saffron.

There is no spice in me right now.

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Sep 07 2007

Apologies…

Tag: Administrivia — cerebralmum @ 9:52 pm

Just a quick note to anybody who has used my contact form. The plugin I am using is not functioning as it should so I have taken the page down for now and am working on getting it fixed.

I cannot apologise enough for this. I most definitely would have responded to your emails.

If you would like to resend your comments or enquiries I can be contacted at…

cerebralmum(at)optusnet(dot)com(dot)au

So so stoopid me.

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