Apr 14 2008

Still alive… (And potty talk…)

Tag: Saffron noodlescerebralmum @ 10:17 pm

I’ve been shite lately. Obviously. I don’t even want to look at the date of my last post. I haven’t been reading my friends blogs. I haven’t even been reading my emails much. I think there are a gazillion people online that I haven’t thanked for various things. And a few offline as well. At some stage, things just got “all too much” and I left my computer off, zealously, and buried my head in sand (aka Sci-Fi DVDs). And when you feel like everything things all too much and so ignore them, it actually makes you feel worse.

So here I am, back again and feeling somewhat miserable and stressed, but I’ll probably feel better by the time I finish this post. There are so many things I have to do right now. I can’t even begin to enumerate them. I know people say to break it down into small parts, and to write lists and tick them off so you feel like you’re getting somewhere, but when the task of writing such a list is overwhelming, I think you’re pretty much screwed.

So I’m starting my baby steps - again - here. And apologising to all those people who deserve much attention and haven’t been getting it from me. I can’t promise you’ll be getting it any time soon, but now at least you know that I am thinking about you.

Sometimes, I am the life of the party. And sometimes I am a very antisocial creature. My real life friends are mostly aware of that, and don’t worry when they don’t hear from me for months on end. That’s just me. I think internet relationships are more tenuous. They don’t, for me at least, have the strength of years. So I feel more guilty when I don’t “water” those friendships. Which, again, makes me want to bury my head in the sand.

I’ve been slack at taking photos too, so I have no picture of “Monday’s Child” (I don’t want to cheat and use an old one) but I can promise that he is still as gorgeous as ever. And we started toilet training a couple of weeks ago.

Caspar will be 18 months in 2 days, which is apparently on the early side for toilet training these days, especially for boys. (Yes, I scanned a couple of pieces of the child rearing literature before ignoring it and Skyping my mother.) He’d been showing signs of readiness for a while, and I had a potty on hand but decided that trying to get him to use the potty when he was interested in the toilet was a stupid idea. So I looked around for a toilet seat for him. I didn’t think that would be so hard.

I just wanted one of those seat and step combined folding things. I thought they were pretty standard. But no, I couldn’t find one anywhere. Just seats and separate steps which were too low. And ridiculously high tech things which convert into Lear jets or some such and had a similar price point. After a couple of weeks searching for simplicity, I gave up and just bought a padded seat because he didn’t want to wait any longer, and holding him over the bowl was not fun for my back.

(I also shopped around for some plain undies - without crazy patterns or “licensed” characters. I loathe “licensed” characters on everything. It was worth the extra pennies not to have to look at them 10 times a day.)

Of course, the standard seat didn’t fit on our toilet, so out came the hacksaw to remove some excess plastic and we were off.

One other issue is that Cas still doesn’t speak so has no way of telling me that he needs to go so I’ve had to be a little vigilant about keeping an eye on when he’s fidgeting. Kelley from Magneto Bold Too and Leechbabe from Stuff With Thing (I think - it was a while ago) both gave me a couple of handsigns I could use so I taught him one of those as a way to say “toilet”. He learned that pretty much instantaneously. Of course, learning it and using it are two different things.

Overall, it’s been a simple change. To be honest, throwing a couple of pairs of undies in the washing machine is easier than laundering nappies. And he gets it. There have been a few accidents, obviously, but also a few days accident free. We’ve even gone out a couple of times without a nappy. And he’s actually really great at weeing on the loo. He doesn’t even need rewards. He’s happy just to get a piece of toilet paper when he’s done and to wave bye-bye. The pooing, though? Not so much.

In the couple of weeks, we’ve only had half a poo in the loo. But he’ll get there. Toilet training is not as bad as I thought. Maybe because I decided not to stress about that, at least. It helps to have a Mum that says it takes longer than they say it does, and to not be a sucker for the Potty-Train-Your-Toddler-In-A-Day Brigade. If he’s fully toilet trained in six months, that’s good enough for me. Although, after seeing how well he’s doing, I doubt that it will take that long.

So there you go. I wrote a blog post. That’s one thing I can cross off my gargantuan non-existent list. And I feel a bit better.

Although still a crappy person for not, figuratively, returning my friends’ calls.

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Feb 25 2008

Monday’s Child: Caspar loves plants…

Tag: Galleriescerebralmum @ 11:26 pm
caslovesplants

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Feb 18 2008

Monday’s Child: Why he doesn’t care whose birthday it is…

Tag: Galleriescerebralmum @ 10:35 pm
chocolate

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Feb 09 2008

I burst into tears this morning…

Tag: Saffron noodlescerebralmum @ 6:00 pm

Because I’m exhausted.

Caspar and I share a room.  That’s a necessity, living in my sister’s house.  But he’s getting too big to share a room with now.  I guess he’s no longer a baby and he no longer sleeps like one.  He wakes when I go to bed, and he wakes me up unpleasantly in the morning, leaving me drained.

I’ve been slack lately, too tired to deal with him crying so I get him up when I should be falling asleep; so I give him cuddles and let him sleep with me.  But I’m not good at sleeping so by the time he settles, I’m stuck in my insomniac state again and it feels like I never get a chance for natural rest.  It’s driving me batty and it’s making me extraordinarily cranky in the mornings which isn’t nice for anyone.

Last night I went to bed very early, 10pm, to try and catch up.  It was a waste of time, which is what led to those bitter tears this morning. I really need a good night’s sleep; one where I go to bed when I’m ready, read until my eyes are closing of their own accord and wake up slowly, snoozing a little more if I want to and rising when I feel refreshed.

Refreshed.

Yeah.

That’s not a feeling I’m familiar with at the moment.  It’s my own fault because I pick him up and I know that I should really let him cry himself back to sleep.  I also know that he’s a very good sleeper and that makes it all the more frustrating.  But it’s much easier to let your child cry when you’re not right there in the room, when he’s not crying directly at you, just a metre away from where you’re trying to sleep.  It’s not like I can hide.  Just me being there in his line of sight is enough to wake him up more fully and make him more insistent.

I love him dearly, I even love the midnight snuggles, but while I don’t require a lot of sleep, right now I’m at breaking point.  I know I need to let him scream at me in order for him to get back his ability to soothe himself, in order to break his habit of waking which I’m actually encouraging with the "reward" of cuddles and snuggles.

And isn’t it always the way that you have to do the hardest things when you have the least ability to do them?

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Jan 31 2008

One, two, three…

Tag: On [single] motherhood...cerebralmum @ 8:32 pm

Cas obeys many things.  He puts stuff in the bin, he sits down, he turns the telly off.  He dances, jumps, spins around, and “goes upside down.”

But he doesn’t “come here”.

While it is very amusing to watch him do the silly things I tell him to, I’m pretty sure that for his safety and well-being “Come here” is important.  And to teach him? I’ve found myself saying, One… Two… Three…

This must be one of those subconscious motherese type things because, really, it makes no sense.  He just looks at me, his head cocked to one side, and when I hit 3, I go and get him. Surely the only thing that teaches him is that if he doesn’t come to me, I will come to him when I’ve finished counting?  Why do I do that?

Then again, why do I now speak in the 3rd person?  Why do I speak in a higher pitch?  Why do I lapse into Yoda-like grammar?  Yup.  Motherhood changes you.

Anyway, as I’ve come to understand that 123 is a ridiculous instinct, and possibly counterproductive, I’ve been trying to figure out how to teach him to come when I call.   My solution isn’t highbrow, but if it’s okay for domestic pets it should be okay for kids, right?

My solution is treats.  More specifically, chocolate freckles.

Like I said, its kind of low.  But it seems to be working.

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Jan 29 2008

Caspar learns how to say no…

Tag: Uncategorizedcerebralmum @ 8:37 pm

He has understood Yes and No for quite a while so I’m not sure why he has taken so long to use it. I ask him questions a lot.

Do you want to go for a walk?

Are you ready for a bottle?

Would you like a story?

Do you want to draw?

Are you clever?

He nods when the answer is yes, but just stares when he isn’t that interested. Until recently. Now I’m getting the shaking of the head every now and then. A picture of things to come, I’m sure. At the moment, however, this appears to be less of an emphatic statement and more of a joke. He seems to think it is funny to shake no when he means yes, the same way he likes to hold things out to me and then snatch them back.

Now when I put him to bed and say, Lie down on your pillow, he gets all snuggly and tucked in and then shakes his head at me with a big grin on his face as though he doesn’t want to go to sleep even though he is obviously happy and looking forward to his bottle.

He’s a comedian, my Cas.

I wonder how long it will be before No no longer amuses me?

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Jan 21 2008

Monday’s Child: Sleepovers and shopping…

Tag: Galleries, Uncategorizedcerebralmum @ 9:47 pm

I had a girlfriend over for the weekend, which rocked, and we went out to Direct Factory Outlets shopping, as girls do. I got a lovely dress as a very early birthday present.

Yup. That’s the end of this post. I’ve got to get everything sorted for enrolment tomorrow. It will probably be about a 5 hour round trip and enrolment will take around 3. I’m taking Cas, so it will require some organising to be up and out of here when we need to be.

But it’s Monday, anyway. You’re only here so you can look upon the most amazing person in the history of the universe, right? Oh, that’s my friend with him. She’s pretty cool too.

C & C at the Shopping Centre

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