Sep 14
And again tomorrow…
We have to be at the hospital again tomorrow. I am now beyond exhausted.
It is only 9:30 and I am fighting sleep and trying to write poetry while I have nothing to say, while I don’t even want to say it. I am angry at nothing, as though there were wasps inside me. I am grinding my teeth.
I hate these days that have passed, this week that didn’t exist. The phone calls that didn’t get made. The appoinments that didn’t get kept. The forms I didn’t fill out. The mail that didn’t get posted. That hovering sense I’ve forgotten something important, that everything is about to come crashing down.
My house of cards.
I want some space to clear my head and breathe and stop waiting. There won’t be time for that for a while.
At the moment I feel shattered. So I shall go to bed with a book I probably will not read and fall asleep while words swim abandoned on my pillow.
Oblivion until 6am, bundling baby into the car without his breakfast.
